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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221339">Hostile</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ap_marvel/pseuds/ap_marvel'>ap_marvel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Fluff, Survivor Guilt, They deserve all the love, kinda a first draft, trilla is alive squad</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:14:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,049</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23221339</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ap_marvel/pseuds/ap_marvel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Cal Kestis was forced into living a lie, leaving behind the legacy of the Jedi. That was, until he met Trilla Suduri - the Second Sister of the Empire.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cal Kestis/Trilla Suduri | Second Sister</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. An Undying Conflict</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be." – <em>Unknown</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>They were eye to eye, sparks flickered from their colliding lightsabers. Their faces lit up with colours of red and blue, blending with flashes of purple. They both pushed against one another, rallying for the upper hand.</p><p>"I saw what you've been through. You've experienced great suffering," Cal offered sympathetically. "It's not too late to let it go."</p><p>"Let go?" She asked viciously. "I'm stronger now because of the pain."</p><p>She pulled her lightsaber away, reaching behind her to pull out a green cube – the Holocron.</p><p>"I knew you'd come back for this. No thank you?" She mocked as she put the Holocron back. Cal grimaced at her taunt. "You'll never make it out of this place alive."</p><p>He moved forward, blocking her attack and sweeping her lightsaber aside. She spun her double-bladed lightsaber making rings of red dance through the air, her attacks vicious and powerful. But Cal had become stronger, he had made peace with his loss and found a semblance of balance in the Force. He fought back, switching between a single blade and a double-bladed lightsaber to dodge her and strike when she was too busy recovering from his mock attacks. BD-1 held onto his shoulder, providing him with Stims when he needed them.</p><p>When she began to charge, he pulled the hilts apart using a cross like motion to push her back. She stumbled towards the edge of the platform, and before she could recover, he jabbed his lightsaber forward, aiming for her shoulder.</p><p>She fell to her knees with a hiss, her eyes glaring at him. He stretched his hand towards her, using the Force to return the Holocron to him and pocketing it. He switched off his lightsaber, holstering it as he stared down at her.</p><p>"Cal!" Cere called, her steps slowing at the sight of Trilla. "You have the Holocron?"</p><p>He nodded, watching as Cere looked towards Trilla. He touched Cere's forearm in a show of support.</p><p>"Make things right," he said carefully.</p><p>Cere stared at him, nodding after a few seconds and dropping his gaze. She turned to her former Padawan.</p><p>She was still kneeling on the floor, her arm clutching the wound on her shoulder. Her lip curled into a sneer, her expression enraged with her defeat. Even more so now that her former Master Cere stood over her, holding her lost double-bladed lightsaber.</p><p>"It's over, Trilla." Her voice was calm but resolute as she stepped towards her former Padawan.</p><p>"Nothing is truly over," Trilla snarled.</p><p>"This fight is over." She shifted the weight between her feet. "I know the darkness that is eating you up inside and every day we chose to either feed it or fight it."</p><p>"It's too late, Cere." Trilla scoffed, shaking her head.</p><p>"No. It's not." Cere reassured. "I know the choice I made took all your choices away. And I failed you." She lowered herself so that she was beside Trilla. "I failed you. And I am so very sorry."</p><p>Trilla slowly rose still clutching her wound, she spared a glance to Cal who stood behind Cere. She looked down to see Cere extending a hand towards her.</p><p>Her words seemed to give rise to the conflict in Trilla. Cal could feel them pulling her towards the light, and he waited for her to take Cere's hand. Instead the silence was punctuated with mechanical breathing, the hiss of smoke releasing from an upper platform.</p><p>A figure enrobed in black, his ebony cape trailing behind him as he leapt off the upper platform and onto theirs.</p><p>Darth Vader.</p><p>Cal glanced towards Trilla, anguish flooding through him at the sight of her terror. She seemed to be rooted to the spot, her face lifting upwards as she gasped for air.</p><p>"You have failed me, Inquisitor." His words filled the air with death.</p><p>Trilla looked towards Cal, wide-eyed as she let out one last call. "Avenge us."</p><p>Darth Vader lifted his glaringly red lightsaber and in one motion swung it across her back.</p><p>He leapt forward without hesitation. "Trilla!" Her name slipped from his mouth as an agonizing cry.</p><p>Cere pushed him back, igniting Trilla's red lightsaber and running towards Vader. His lightsaber met hers, but she was no match for him. Every stroke of her blade was dodged by him single-handedly and followed with a sting of his.</p><p>Amidst their fight, Cal rushed to Trilla. Terror ignited within him as he kneeled over her still body. The feeling of grief and horror washing him, memories of kneeling over Tapal's body resurfacing as he placed a hand on her cheek, still warm with life. But he could see now, the deep cauterised wound through the holes of her cloak and Inquisitor uniform. Layers of her tanned skin frayed, and he caught the sight of bone, the smell of burning flesh distinct in the air.</p><p>He had to get her out. Now.</p><p>"Stim BD!"</p><p>He caught it and pressed it against the side of her wound, hoping it would help her heal. He slipped an arm around her back and the other beneath her legs, he stood up. His eyes caught sight of Cere fighting back against Darth Vader, using the Dark side and barely able to keep up with his brutal techniques. He felt torn. Cere had saved him from Trilla on Bracca. Was he going to just leave her behind now?</p><p>Cere amidst it all turned back to Cal. "Run!"</p><p>Her distraction was caught by Vader, using the Force to throw her off the platform.</p><p>Cal stood wide-eyed before sprinting, knowing there was nothing else he could do. Except save Trilla.</p><p>The metal around the hallway began to creak, bending inwards. He ran as fast as he could, the weight of her in his arms slowing him as exhaustion began to overtake his legs. The arrived at a door, it opened to reveal Vader.</p><p>The masked figure thrusted his hand forward, sending them both tumbling backwards. Cal felt the air knocked out of his lungs, his face scrunching as he struggled to recover a breath. His eyes looked over a still unconscious Trilla before landing on his lightsaber that had fallen beside Vader's feet.</p><p>He quickly reached out, using the Force to guide it to his hand but Vader over powered him.</p><p>"Surrender the Holocron." He held it back, giving Cal a chance to surrender.</p><p>Cal gritted his teeth as he responded. "I'll never give it to you."</p><p>It ignited, the blade slowing turning towards Cal. The glowing blue blade pushed into his side and he let out an agonizing sound. The hilt clattered to the ground as Vader turned to evade the spinning red double-bladed lightsaber.</p><p>Cere caught it back, striking against him several times. "I won't let you take those children."</p><p>Cal grabbed his lightsaber hilt and ran towards Trilla, sweeping her body into his arms. He half-stumbled as he rose, the weight of her body straining against his wound.</p><p>With one motion of the Force, Vader pushed her back. She tumbled but caught herself back onto her feet. She stood, her hands clenched as she utilized the dark side.</p><p>"Such hatred. You would've made an excellent Inquisitor."</p><p>"No. No!" Cal called out to Cere as the metal creaked under her strength, pushing back Vader. "Cere you still have a choice!"</p><p>She pulled her hands back slightly but didn't stop using the Dark side. He could see her contemplating her actions and the path it would set her on. The path that had led to the creation of the Second Sister.</p><p>She turned around to Cal.</p><p>"Save yourselves."</p><p>She dropped her hands, releasing her hold over the Dark side. And in that moment, Vader struck her down.</p><p>The burning sparks that cut through Cere's body flashed through Cal's mind as he used the Force to break the glass and ran towards it. The icy water flooded into the hallway behind them and he hoped it was enough to prevent them from being followed.</p><p>His hand held onto Trilla's body as he struggled to pull them up to the distant surface. Images of Cere's body collapsing flashed through his mind, the reminders of the death of his own Master resurfacing.</p><p>He could see the bubbles of air rise from his mouth into the water. He wouldn't be able to make it in time, he wouldn't be able to save them, and Cere would've sacrificed herself for nothing. His head erupted with pain from the pressure of the water and the darkness began to consume him. The last memory he had was the feeling on Trilla's hair against his hand and BD-1 gripping on to his shoulder before flashes of green swirls danced around him as he drifted into his quiet unconscious.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Melancholy Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"things are as they are but we suffer because we imagined different." – <em>Unknown</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>The world was a blur, the overhead lights of the familiar ship burned into him as he blinked several times. His nose and throat felt irritated from the water he had swallowed, and his muscles ached from exhaustion. His hand went to his side, feeling the fleeting pains of Vader's lightsaber before he reached up to touch his head, trying to ease the pain that thumped against his skull. His fingers touched his hair and he realized it wasn't wet, not even damp. How long had he been out?</p><p>Greez came into view, BD-1 hanging onto his shoulder.</p><p>"Trilla." He breathed, gripping onto Greez's forearm.</p><p>His abrupt movement was followed almost immediately with a flurry of pain. His hand immediately reached to the source of the pain, the lightsaber wound on his side was padded with a bandage. His head immediately become light and his vision spotted with black.</p><p>"She's, she's okay kid. We did the best we could with what we have on board."</p><p>Cal felt relief flood through him, but it wasn't enough to settle the guilt that stirred within him. He got up slowly to head to wherever Trilla was but instead was met with a blur of blonde hair and embraced into a hug. He let out a groan as he half-stumbled back against the bed and she immediately let go, taking a step back.</p><p>"Sorry," Merrin said in her accent.</p><p>He smiled at her apology. His thoughts recalling the green swirls in the water. "That was you in the water, wasn't it?"</p><p>She nodded, returning his smile. "I'm glad you're okay." She gestured to wards Greez as she said, "This one would not leave your side."</p><p>Greez looked at him with an embarrassed smile, scratching the back of his head. BD-1 hopped off of his shoulder and onto Cal's.</p><p>Cal returned his gaze to Merrin. "Thank you." He looked beside him at BD-1. "You too."</p><p>There were a few seconds of silence. He looked around the ship, seeing no-one else besides the four of them. No sign of her.</p><p>"Where is she?" Greez and Merrin shared a glance. "Where is she?" He repeated determinedly.</p><p>He moved past them towards rooms beside his. He stopped abruptly as he stood outside Cere's room. He held back the surge of images, feeling a cold breeze run through him as it truly hit him. She was gone.</p><p>"Kid?"</p><p>He didn't move. He could hear the little hope Greez had and was probably waiting for him to refute his assumption. But it never came.</p><p>"I'm sorry," Cal breathed.</p><p>There was a long silence.</p><p>Greez nodded, mumbling an apology under his breath as he turned away to return to the front of ship. Merrin glanced at his retreating figure with a furrowed expression before turning back to Cal.</p><p>"It isn't your fault."</p><p>Cal hung his head, knowing that wasn't true. But he said nothing to counter it because he knew his denial would change nothing. Instead he looked to the still body that lied on Cere's bed, now clothed in something less noticeable than her Empire uniform. The only proof of her survival was the slow and short movement of her chest – she was barely hanging on.</p><p>"How is she?" He asked quietly, his eyes never leaving Trilla.</p><p>"Not good. I covered her wound and your droid helped her, but there is nothing else we can do here."</p><p>"We need a medical facility."</p><p>He sighed. There weren't many places he'd be able to go unnoticed now that the Empire knew about him and Trilla's betrayal. There was no doubt in his mind that there was a target on their backs, but he would have to risk it to save her. Because if she died... Then he had failed to honor Cere's sacrifice.</p><p>He gave Trilla one last look before heading back to the main lounge area of the ship. He sat down beside Greez who stared aimlessly at the floor. A familiarity in their grief and yet no words could comfort each other in that moment. Merrin stood beside him quietly.</p><p>BD-1 beeped at him, tilting his head as he asked the question.</p><p>He turned to Merrin. "He says you have the Holocron."</p><p>She pulled out the green cube from behind her, handing it over to him. He stood up and took it from her hands, feeling them linger a moment longer on his before she slid them away. He stared at it, the intricacies of the pattern that laced it. He used the Force and watched as the corner pieces of the Holocron twisted and parted from its centre unveiling a hologram. It expanded showing co-ordinates of all the known Force-sensitive children.</p><p>"The next generation of Jedi," Merrin said in awe.</p><p>He stared at the projection, his eyes flitting to each dot that was scattered across the galaxy.</p><p>"The Empire will be after them, just like they're after us. Their lives will be changed forever," Greez said concernedly.</p><p>He was right. Its very existence would continue that cycle because the Empire would never stop, not until they had it. If it came to that, the Jedi would cease to exist, and no peace could never be upheld.</p><p>"Not by me," Cal said firmly. He pulled the hilt of his lightsaber out of his belt and stared at it in contemplation. "Their destiny should be trusted to the Force."</p><p>Without hesitation he ignited the lightsaber and with one fluid motion it cut through the Holocron. Each half falling to the floor with a clatter and curls of smoke rising from it.</p><p>He hadn't expected something that had been the cause of misery and death to be ended so quickly. And yet he couldn't deny the feeling of ease that followed in its destruction. Those children wouldn't carry the burden of being a Jedi, like he had, and suffer a fate at the hands of the Empire, like Trilla. They would be safe.</p><p> </p><p>○</p><p> </p><p>"Kid?"</p><p>Cal looked up at Greez blearily, Merrin beside him. His hand shakily rubbed the exhaustion from his face, as his eyes landed on Trilla.</p><p>She was still in the same condition as she had been since he had escaped with her. Merrin had helped him with the few medical resources they had on board, using water and bandages to redress the wound. Where he had hesitated to remove the back of her clothing to assess whether the wound was healing, she took control. It was in times like this where he was grateful that he had Merrin on board.</p><p>Greez motioned for him to follow him out of the room. Cal froze at the idea of leaving her. Merrin noticed his hesitation from behind Greez, stepping forward and placing a delicate hand on his forearm.</p><p>"It's okay," Merrin said in her accent. "I will watch her."</p><p>BD-1 hopped off his shoulder, taking his place beside Trilla. He shrilled, deciding that he would stay behind in an act of consolidarity.</p><p>He should've be comforted at Merrin's offer and BD-1's selflessness, but instead he felt discomfort pool inside of him as he stood up to follow Greez. Before he passed through the doorway, he glanced back over Trilla. Merrin had settled in his seat, BD-1 shuffling beside her feet. She would be fine for a few minutes, he told himself.</p><p>They took a few steps away from the room.</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>"Yeah," he said wearily.</p><p>"Polis Massa base, there's medical facilities there," Greez started. "It might be difficult. We don't know if the Empire has taken control over there or not because there's no radio frequencies that reach it."</p><p>Cal nodded firmly. "She's worth the risk."</p><p>There was a moment of pause as Greez stared at him, a deep frown etched into his expression and his eyes looking at him with sympathy. Cal could see the words that were forming in his mind and knew that he didn't want to hear them.</p><p>"There's nothing you could have done. You need to remember that."</p><p>He clenched his jaw, turning his gaze away from him. He could he know that. Especially when Cal could feel the guilt that had burrowed itself beneath his skin from his inaction. He could've done <em>more</em>. He was a Jedi Knight, he had been given that title as a sign of his skill and abilities and yet it meant nothing when he was up against the Dark side.</p><p>"What if you're wrong?"</p><p>Greez sighed before he placed a hand on his shoulder, the action easing his anxious thoughts slightly. "You said yourself that she sacrificed herself for you two. That was her choice... She's gone Cal." There was a  pause before he nodded towards the room Trilla was in. "But you saved her. And we're gonna find her the help she needs, because she's here. Okay?"</p><p>He bit the inside of his mouth and nodded weakly. </p><p>"Okay." Greez nodded and returned to the front of the ship, giving Cal one last look of concern before he focussed on getting them to Polis Massa.</p><p>He couldn't argue with Greez because he was right – even if his churning emotions protested. Trilla was still here and she would die if they didn't get somewhere with the facilities to nurse her back to health. </p><p>And he wouldn't let Cere's sacrifice be for nothing. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Fortunate Prospect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness." - <em>Desmond Tutu</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>The Mantis came to a quiet stop as it settled on the landing bay of the Polis Massa base. Through the windshield of the ship they could see countless asteroids drifting amongst the stars. Their arrival had stirred little motion outside, but Cal still remained defensive with the hilt of his lightsaber on hand and BD-1 on his shoulder as he stood in front of the exit of the ship. Merrin stood beside him as she used her powers to carry Trilla. They had already agreed that Greez would stay behind to ensure they could escape safely.</p><p>The door opened with a hiss and they were met with three Polis Massans, all of them with their gray thick skin and thin bodies. But the most remarkable thing about them was their flat, pale faces were featureless apart from a pair of black eyes. And even then, their eyes expressionless.</p><p><em>"How can we help you?" </em>The voice asked softly, in his head.</p><p>Hairs on his neck raised in response, unnerved by their form of communication. This wasn't the Force - this was something else. Something he couldn't explain, which probably explained his uncontrollable reaction.</p><p>He couldn't deny that he had expected hostile beings but he was surprised that they were rather compassionate ones considering that they were helping strangers. Cal approached them, withdrawing his lightsaber as he did and Merrin followed, moving Trilla's body with her.</p><p>"She needs help," he responded. "She has a lightsaber wound, it's deep."</p><p>The Polis Massans shared a look and two GH-7 droids appeared from inside the base.</p><p>
  <em>"We will help. These droids will carry her to our medical facility. If you will follow us, we can take you there."</em>
</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Merrin looked at him strangely as he spoke to them, unaware of their telepathic communication. He only nodded at her, showing his trust in these people and she handed Trilla over to the droids. They placed her on a white stretcher, speedily taking her inside to begin their medical analysis with one of the Polis Massans accompanying them. Cal and Merrin trailed behind the two Polis Massans as they led the way to wherever the medical facility was.</p><p>"I'm Cal Kestis," he offered. "This is Merrin."</p><p>
  <em>"It is nice to meet you Cal Kestis and Merrin, I am Xelif Tuff and this is Dznori Xamuun, we are exobiologists on Polis Massa. Otara Scal is one of our physicians who will help your friend."</em>
</p><p>Merrin looked at them, her head tilting in much interest as they spoke to her. Cal was only concerned with her disinterest with how they communicated - had this not been the first time someone had spoke in her head?</p><p>
  <em>"What is her name?"</em>
</p><p>"Trilla Suduri," he answered. He waited a moment before asking, "Will she be alright?"</p><p>
  <em>"We have a high-quality medical center which is highly equipped and skilled physicians here. There is little to worry about."</em>
</p><p>They reached the medical facility, the corridors were gray and simply lit with tubes of light across the them. Above them was a barrier of glass and it was immaculately clean, enough that he had thought that there was no ceiling at all. When they had reached her room, he could see her lying on a bed with Ostara and the two droids inside, continuing to analyse her wound and spraying something on it. Trilla was attached to many machines, each making their own unique beeps.</p><p>One of the GH-7 droids exited the room and approached them.</p><p>"She is in no fatal danger. The wound is deep, but we are reducing the risk of infection by cleaning it. For reasons we can't explain, she is still unconscious."</p><p>"Will she wake up?" Cal asked worriedly.</p><p>The droid turned to him. "It is still unclear. We will do everything we can to heal her wound."</p><p>He let out a resigned sigh.</p><p>She was alive and she would survive this, but that didn't mean that she would be awake. And he needed her to be awake and to be here. He didn't know why he needed her conscious so desperately. Maybe it was because he needed to know for certain that she was okay or maybe it was because he still felt alone despite Merrin and Greez's presence.</p><p>
  <em>"Do not fret, Cal Kestis. Let our physician do her duties and you will see your friend soon. In the meantime, you can rest and eat."</em>
</p><p>They began to lead the way to what he assumed was some type of lodging or canteen for them, and Merrin began following them but he still stood, rooted to the spot.</p><p>"Cal?" Merrin asked in a concerned tone.</p><p>"I'm going to stay here. Just in case." She waited for a few more moments, unsure whether to question his decision but he nodded at her to follow Xelif and Dznori. He looked at her reassuringly with a smile. "You go ahead."</p><p>"I'll be back soon."</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>When they had disappeared from view, he looked back into the room. Watching as the droids and Ostara worked effortlessly in the peripheries of his focus, his eyes only on Trilla. She no longer emanated the darkness of her pain and suffering, like waves crashing against a rocky surface. Instead it was soothed by her unconsciousness and more importantly by her decision to turn on Nur. He had never seen her so tranquil and at peace until now - it was mesmerising to him.</p><p>He only hoped that she would keep that peace when she awoke.</p><p> </p><p>○</p><p> </p><p>It had been a week.</p><p>Cal sat on the chair beside Trilla's bed. BD-1 was trying his best to take his mind off of her, but with every little exchange they had and any attempt to make him laugh he was hit with that silence. He didn't realize quite how deafening the absence of sound could be. It reminded him of Nur, drowning in the darkness of the water while barely clutching onto her - and Cere.</p><p>There were moments, and he was ashamed to admit it, that he forgot. He forgot how much it hurt, the dull sting of grief. At least he knew why it hurt more now than before. Forgetting had only made the realization a heavier burden to bear. It lulled him into a false sense of ease before striking, kicking him to the ground until there was nothing left but the hollowness of his own guilt.</p><p>Merrin was worried about him. He knew she was keeping an eye on him, though he was unsure if it was because of her own determination or because Greer had told her to. She had offered several times over the week to take watch so that he could eat or sleep or do something other than sit in that damn chair waiting for her to wake up. But nothing could change his mind. Not when it came to her.</p><p>"You haven't eaten in days. What help will you be to her if you are weak?"</p><p>He remained quiet.</p><p>"They told you that they are doing what they can. Sitting there won't change anything," Merrin argued again for the twelfth time.</p><p>"You don't know that."</p><p>"Cal..."</p><p>He sighed, deflated by her attempts. "Just, just let me do this. Please."</p><p>She looked at him for the longest time before she shook her head, muttering something under her breath as she exited the room. The door shutting with a louder slam than usual.</p><p>BD-1 turned to him with a beep.</p><p>"Not you too," he muttered frustratedly.</p><p>He took his head in his hands.</p><p>
  <em>Sitting there won't change anything.</em>
</p><p>She was right. It didn't change anything for Trilla. But it helped him in some strange way. Like being in her presence, sensing her Force and recognized the turmoil and the peace in his own, calmed him. He couldn't explain that to his friends, he wasn't sure if he could clearly explain it to himself. But that didn't matter.</p><p>There was a sound.</p><p>He took his head out of his hands and looked towards Trilla.</p><p>Did she...? Or was he imagining?</p><p>He shook his head and leaned forward, his hand stretching out to adjust the blanket that was over her but was stopped by a hand. Trilla's hand.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Persistant Affliction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I got super sick yesterday but recovered pretty miraculously by the next morning thank God. I'm still not 100% but I'm well enough to be updating. This also means that I am stuck in self-isolation for 2 weeks which is okay considering how much I hate going out. But lucky for you it means consecutive updates... If I don't get sick again and if I don't have a crap ton of work to catch up on. </p><p>(Just to be clear in my country if you get sick it's been recommended to stay in self-isolation and not get tested unless you're a vulnerable group to reduce risk of spread and my symptoms were only some that matched with coronavirus and I got better quite quickly so I'm assuming it wasn't it although it's still unclear and I am taking every precaution to ensure I self-isolate, wash my hands, stay as hygienic as humanly possible and stay away from my family and the public to keep them safe.)</p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"how strange to dream of you even when i am wide awake." – <em>D.T.</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>Cal almost jumped at how her hand clamped onto his. Her cold fingers desperately clinging onto his warm ones, her face contorting as she let out a scream of excruciating pain. The sound of it cut through the air, pulling him from a daze. The beeping of the machines around her in a frenzy. </p><p>"Trilla?" He asked, shooting forward from his seat, frantic as he placed his free hand on her face. Her eyes were still squeezed shut.</p><p>Merrin entered the room and looked towards Cal with widened eyes. He pulled his eyes from Trilla and looked over to her, his voice sharpened by panic.</p><p>"Get Ostara."</p><p>She nodded simply, disregarding his tone and left in search of the physician.</p><p>He turned back to the woman lying on the bed. "Trilla." His voice was caught between soothing her and drowning in concern. Her screaming continued and he tried again. "Trilla I'm, I'm going to help okay?"</p><p>He knew the capabilities of the Force. One of them being able to control pain, it took Jedi years of practice to fully master – not to mention the amount of meditation. But he had to try.</p><p>Fear and uncertainty danced around him as he shut his eyes. Reaching out to the Force, searching for the Light within the small confined room. He could feel its strength, the hum of its power. He struggled, pushing aside his own emotions and accepting peace but, he had to do something.</p><p>
  <em>"Self-Discipline. Without this, inner peace, harmony, and serenity cannot be reached. And why is this important, Padawan?" Tapal asked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Young Cal was eager to answer. "They're core principles of the Jedi Code."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Good. Now close your eyes. Reach out and find the balance of the Force."</em>
</p><p>A peace overcame him, his surroundings washed in light and her screams fading into a simple buzz as he reached into the source of her pain. He could feel it, phantoms of agonising waves of pain stretching across his own back – as though he was wearing her wound. He gritted his teeth, willing the Force to numb it.</p><p>He heard a hum of voices. A sweat broke out through his forehead from his concentration and it felt like an hour had passed before her pain had dulled.</p><p>Her screams had faded into a whimper, and then silence.</p><p>He opened his eyes, seeing Ostara checking over Trilla with two droids accompanying her. Merrin stood back, her eyes on his hand that held onto Trilla. He removed his hand from her face, unsure what had possessed him to do that.</p><p>Trilla wouldn't want him to touch her, let alone touch her like he cared for her. He did care, he thought. Enough to save her and to comfort her pain, but not like that. His gaze fell to her hand that was on his, it no longer held him in her unyielding grip, but it was still holding on.</p><p>"Cal," she breathed inaudibly.</p><p>His eyes snapped towards her. He hesitated to respond, unsure if she had spoken.</p><p>"Cal?" She whimpered again.</p><p>An overwhelming emotion overcame him at the sound of her desperate plea.</p><p>"I'm here Trilla," he affirmed. Lightly squeezing her hand, to reassure her.</p><p>He could see the trails of tears drying on her face. It felt like a breach of privacy to see her in this state, like she had broken through her mask and unwillingly shown him this vulnerability.</p><p>At the sound of his voice she visibly relaxed, whispering something incoherent. Her brows were still furrowed, but her face seemed to be considerably calmer than it had been a few moments ago.</p><p>
  <em>"She has stabilised. Whatever you did helped, but she still needs rest."</em>
</p><p>She took one of the glass tubes filled with a liquid that a droid handed to her and delicately lifted Trilla's body, injecting it near the bandaged-wound. After a moment, Trilla sighed faintly in relief.</p><p>Ostara checked over her vitals once more, before heading out. Merrin waited a moment, perhaps expecting him to ask her to stay or apologise for his tone. When he didn't, she followed behind the healer without a second glance.</p><p>Cal loosed a breath. He would stay by her side, monitoring her breathing and her pain until she slipped into rest. He wouldn't leave until he was absolutely sure that she would be okay. Because she had to be okay – he couldn't accept anything else. Her hand never released its hold on him as he sat by her side, surprised at how it consoled him and the tinge of delight he felt in despite of himself.</p><p>He let out a shaky breath, still anxious over what had happened. His thoughts darting between dread and reassurance of her stable condition.</p><p>BD-1 beeped, shuffling towards him and Cal petted him lightly.</p><p>"I hope so too."</p><p> </p><p>○</p><p> </p><p>It had been another sleepless night, though Cal had slept less comfortably than usual. His neck dulled with pain from the awkward angle he had slept on it. He looked to see his arm still stretched out across to hold her hand – that was why. He sat up blearily, blinking several times to fight the blindingly lit room.</p><p>Trilla was resting, though her expression told another story. It seemed even in her sleep she found unease. He could tell that her pain had considerably numbed since last night and the Stim had worked well. Did the nightmares haunt her as they did him?</p><p>He pressed his mouth into his free hand that was propped up by his knee, staring at their tangled hands. His thoughts reminding him of how she found comfort in his name, in his presence. He wondered when he became something of comfort to her. He certainly hadn't expected it.</p><p>BD-1 shuffled closer, his gaze moving between his hand and Trilla's. He beeped and whooped.</p><p>"Shut up," Cal said embarrassedly.</p><p>Gently, he slipped his hand from hers, watching to see if his movements stirred her – they didn't. He continued to stare at her, feeling something of unease without her touch. When had that happened? When did his source of comfort come from Trilla Suduri? He covered his face with his hands, supressing a groan.</p><p>There was a cough behind him.</p><p>He looked up from his hands. Merrin stood in the doorframe, her head tilted as she observed him.</p><p>"Hey," he greeted quietly. His thoughts took him back to how he had snapped at her and shame flooded him. "I, I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I wasn't thinking..."</p><p>She held up a hand to silence him. "I understand," she said simply. He felt unsure about her brushing aside his apology but before he could persist, she spoke. "This, Trilla, she means something to you?"</p><p>He paused for a moment, searching for words.</p><p>"It's complicated." He looked towards the woman beside him, his brows furrowed in thought. "She's a survivor," he explained.</p><p>Merrin nodded in understanding, her expression changing into something unrecognizable. "Like us," she continued for him. "You believe she is good now?"</p><p>"Yeah," he said softly. He fumbled with his hands. "She did the right thing in the end."</p><p>The air turned sombre.</p><p>She walked towards him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Ostara says she will be awake soon."</p><p>"I just wish I could do more."</p><p>She moved her hand, folding her arms across her chest. "Do you trust Ostara?"</p><p>He looked at Merrin confusedly as he responded, "Yes."</p><p>"Then you must be patient. You must give Trilla time."</p><p>He nodded. A comfortable silence settling between them. He cleared his throat after a moment. "I never got to thank you for helping her. And me. So, thank you."</p><p>"It is no problem. I told you I wish to fight by your side. That includes your friends."</p><p>He half-smiled at that. She seemed to embody compassion, even after the pain she had gone through. Her desire to continue to help him even before he had expressed his gratitude, filled him with remorse. His smile dissipated into an expression of self-reproach.</p><p>"I am sorry," he repeated sincerely.</p><p>"I forgive you, Cal Kestis. As long as you do not speak to me like that again."</p><p>Cal could've sworn he saw green smoke dance between her fingertips, and he hurried to reply, "Deal."</p><p>She smiled at his quick response. "Now go eat, Ostara saved you food. I will take care of your friend."</p><p> </p><p>○</p><p> </p><p>He drank the soup at the table in the canteen area. There were very few people milling around, most of them he recognized to be healers. Ostara sat opposite him on the table, going through a hologram of a patients wound with another physician. They had been sitting in a comfortable silence, and once the other physician left Ostara turned her attention to him.</p><p>
  <em>"How is your wound?"</em>
</p><p>He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before answering. "Better. Thank you."</p><p>Didn't she realise that it wasn't his own wound that worried him?</p><p>
  <em>"She will be okay."</em>
</p><p>He gave her a guilty look, perhaps he should give her more credit. </p><p>"Is it that easy to tell?"</p><p><em>"Yes."</em> Her voice in his head softer than usual, and he awkwardly scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. <em>"Her wound is deep, but she is strong. With the help of our facilities, she will be healed soon enough."</em></p><p>He nodded, staring into his empty bowl. He hoped that was true, but he could feel the pain she felt last night. He wondered how she was even alive.</p><p>
  <em>"You care dearly for her."</em>
</p><p>"I – It's not like that." Cal looked at her with wide-eyes, stuttering at her insinuation. He felt his cheeks heat, likely becoming as red as his hair.</p><p><em>"There's no need to be embarrassed, Cal Kestis."</em> She reached forward, placing a light hand over his. <em>"In times of darkness, the only light we need is love. You remember that."</em></p><p>Before he could reply she stood up, taking his bowl and walking off. And he was left alone, her words still echoing through his mind.</p><p>He did care for her. It had been for Cere, so that her sacrifice wasn't for nothing. But now it felt different, like the floor beneath his feet had shifted into new territory and he didn't know how to escape. He remembered the way his name sounded on her lips – like he was needed. </p><p>Was this love? </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Serendipitous Salvation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kinda flopped this one sorry :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"even though we never said it to each other, we knew." – <em>Unknown</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>Trilla awoke violently. Her actions ripped him from his sleep and he instinctively looked towards the bed where she had been resting. The tubing from the machines taut as she stood hunched over, shaking violently on her feet.</p><p>He rose from his seat and rushed to her side before she could fall. He went to hold onto her forearm to steady her, but she wrenched it from his reach. The force of her withdrawal caused her to stumble on her already unsteady, weakened legs. He reached out once more, catching her before she fell. He was met with no resistance, she was too light-headed from her abrupt movement.</p><p>The beeping of the machines which had become frantic, started to calm down.</p><p>It took a moment for him to realize the intimacy in which he was holding her. He had one arm around her upper back and his hand grasping her shoulder, tubing entangling them both. He steadied her, and when she found the strength in her legs, she pulled herself from his grasp and held a hand against the wall to support her instead.</p><p>She blinked several times as her eyes searching the brightly-lit room and landing on the tubing that connected to her. Her confused expression turned vulnerable as she debated her next words.</p><p>"Cere?"</p><p>He struggled to mask the grief, managing to give the barest shake of his head before turning his head away. Trilla continued to watch him, her expression hardening into an emotionless mask.</p><p>"Where am I?"</p><p>It took a moment for him to compose himself enough to find a response. "A medical facility in Polis Massa. You're safe," he reassured.</p><p>"No." Her voice was laced with dread, her eyes flitting between his. "You've killed us all."</p><p>"What?" He asked perplexedly, shaking his head with a concerned expression. "No, we got away – "</p><p>"Still the naïve Padawan," she sneered weakly. "The Empire cannot be defeated. They will never stop hunting, not until the Jedi are all dead."</p><p>"I destroyed it. They'll never find them."</p><p>"You think it's over? That you and your friends are safe?"</p><p>"Are we?" He asked in a harsh tone, retaliating against her patronising one. "I wouldn't know. I wasn't with the Empire."</p><p>"The Empire believes me to be a traitor," she snarled lowly.</p><p>"Are you?"</p><p>Her eyes scrutinised him sharply, an unidentifiable emotion taking over her features. The question had hit her hard, as though it had taken her surprise. Something Cal thought he'd never see. And then she tore her eyes away.</p><p>It was barely a whisper, but he heard the tremor in her voice.</p><p>"I don't know."</p><p>There was a long silence.</p><p>"I think you do," he said softly.</p><p>Her eyes went back to his. "You don't know what you're talking about."</p><p>"I felt it. I felt you turn to the light on Nur."</p><p>Her brows furrowed in frustration. "No."</p><p>He stepped closer. "You said, "Avenge us". You were talking about the Jedi."</p><p>Her frustration furthered at his words, making her fluster with denial. "That – That's not true."</p><p>He was at arm's length. "Trilla. It's okay."</p><p>He reached a hand out towards her, and he watched as her eyes darted between his. Anger and frustration melted into confusion and anticipation.</p><p>"Why do you care?" She whispered.</p><p>"Because I care what happens to you."</p><p>The air between them tensed at his admission. Cal could see the depth of emotion she masked behind her green eyes, how they contrasted to the inky black of her hair and the dark outlines of her lips against her bronze skin.</p><p>He tore his eyes away from her and took a breath. His voice quieter as he repeated, "I care."</p><p>She moved forward, closing the gap between them as she pressed her lips to his. The action lasting less than a moment. And yet, it spanned several decades. Before he could comprehend what was happening or respond, she pulled away – taking all his sense with her.</p><p>He stared at her, overwhelmed with surprise. His heart thundered in his chest, her touch still lingering on him. He didn't think that she would feel for him as he did her, didn't even think it would be a possibility. Trilla Suduri, who had once wanted nothing more than to kill him, kissed him. It was beyond surprising, but he knew one thing for certain, he wanted to do it again.</p><p>They both moved towards each other, her lips pressed to his again. A sense of euphoria overcame his returned senses. He wound an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him as she snaked her hands up his chest before they tangled themselves into his auburn hair. It was insatiable and fast-paced. Their desperate yearning exploding into a sense of liberation and consolation they had somehow found in each other.</p><p>When the kissed slowed she placed a hand on his chest, gently breaking away from him. He looked down at her with an uneven breath, euphoria shifted into apprehension. Did she regret it? He certainly didn't. But before he could ask, she slipped from his grasp. Her trepidation masked with indifference as she turned, walking away from him.</p><p>"Wait," he pleaded. Her steps slowed but she didn't stop. "Trilla wait. Let's talk about this."</p><p>He tried to follow her but as he turned into the exit of the door, she was already gone. Left alone with his churning emotions and the taste of her lips.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Delicate Affair</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A short one but an update nevertheless! And thank you for all your prayers they mean the world to me!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens." – <em>J. R. R. Tolkien</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>He ran down the gray corridors, steps pounding against the floor as his eyes searched desperately for her. His thoughts switching between giving her space and needing to know she was okay. He couldn't even begin to imagine what she was feeling, and to then push all his feelings onto her – it would've been overwhelming.</p><p>"Cal?"</p><p>He turned, seeing Merrin standing with an apprehensive look, BD-1 standing beside her feet.</p><p>"Cal, what's going on – "</p><p>"Have you seen her?" He interrupted quickly. "Trilla? Have you seen her?"</p><p>"No." Then, as if she had digested his question, she looked surprised. "Is she awake?"</p><p>He ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. "Yeah. I, I messed up and I don't know what to do."</p><p>"We'll find her," Merrin said reassuringly. It wasn't enough to calm him.</p><p>BD-1 hopped and beeped.</p><p>"Ostara," Cal repeated after BD-1. How did he not think of that? He looked back to Merrin, who seemed the most concerned.</p><p>She nodded. "We will be right behind you."</p><p>But before he did, BD-1 beeped again before shooting out a Stim for Trilla. Just in case.</p><p>"Thanks buddy."</p><p>He took off again, now searching for the physician. Only it didn't take long as she was walking down the perpendicular corridor with another Polis Massan. He was unsure if they were in discussion, though that wouldn't have made a difference in his rushed state.</p><p>"Have you seen Trilla?"</p><p><em>"She is walking again? She's stronger than we predicted."</em> And after a beat, <em>"I have not seen her. Perhaps she is in the canteen?"</em></p><p>His voice was panic-stricken. "No, she's not there."</p><p>
  <em>"You know her best Cal Kestis. Where would she go?"</em>
</p><p>He looked at her dumbfoundedly, expecting something more than that. Couldn't she inform the rest of the facility to be on the lookout? Or help him find her?</p><p>But as his heart thundered in his ears from all his running, his thoughts clung to her words. He thought about it, trying to put himself in her position. If he needed to get away, where would he go?</p><p>She was abandoning it all. Just like he had after Order sixty-six – after he had lost his Master. And her best bet to get off this planet was on a ship.</p><p>The Mantis.</p><p> </p><p>○</p><p> </p><p>"Greez...?" He asked while running up the platform into the ship, trailing off at the sight of her.</p><p>She was sitting in the lounge area, speaking to Greez. At his interruption they stopped, staring at him. She didn't seem angry or hurt when he locked eyes with her, a mask of calm settled over her features. He turned his confused gaze over to Greez who looked apprehensive – whether it was the way Cal had entered or because Trilla was talking to him he was unsure.</p><p>"You alright kid?"</p><p>"Yeah," he answered breathlessly as his focus returned to Trilla.</p><p>Greez looked between them slowly before deciding to stand up. "I'll give you some privacy."</p><p>He looked at Trilla and nodded, to which her shoulders relaxed. He stepped outside, closing the ship door behind them.</p><p>Cal didn't know what to say. It took a few seconds before he remembered the Stim, he had been gripping onto.</p><p>"How are you feeling?" He asked, sounding a little pathetic. And to clarify further he added, "Your wound, I mean."</p><p>"I'll take the Stim, if that's what you're asking." Her voice was as cool as a dead star.</p><p>He felt self-conscious as he walked over to her and watched as she took it from his grasp, her hand never touching his. With ease she reached around and injected near her wound, letting out a sigh of relief.</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>He nodded, his feet shuffling awkwardly in the silence. And before he could debate against it, he opened his mouth and let it out.</p><p>"Why did you kiss me?" His tone had come off much gentler than he realized.</p><p>She stared at him, perhaps surprised by how openly he had said it. As though the acknowledgment of what had happened made it more real. He waited for an answer, but her hesitation lasted far too long, and it flowed into silence. He tried to keep the hurt from being displayed on his face as he nodded slowly.</p><p>So she had regretted it. It had likely been the heat of the moment for her, from her injuries and the coma-like state she had been in. But most of all, it had been a mistake.</p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. A Fulfilled Devotion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's the last one and I'm sad but I promise they're happy &lt;33</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"if you do not love me, i shall not be loved, if i do not love you, i shall not love." – <em>Samuel Beckett</em></p><p>○○○</p><p>He couldn't sleep. It seemed that the fatigue from the day had dissipated into the darkness, leaving him alone with his thoughts. It was only when the sounds around him began to fade and his thoughts were drowning in exhaustion that he could feel sleep greet him.</p><p>There was a creak.</p><p>He reached out to the Force, using it to feel his surroundings. Someone was standing in the doorway, he suspected it was Trilla. He could sense her power, and her absence in Cere's room. He kept his eyes shut. If she wanted to talk about what had happened, she could wait until the morning – he despised the bitterness he felt towards her, but it was there nonetheless.</p><p>He heard her footsteps as they neared the bed. A long silence followed. Perhaps she was debating waking him, he thought. But to his surprise, he felt her lie onto the bed beside him. Her body never touching his, that didn't stop his heartbeat race in response to her bold action.</p><p>Trilla's fingers stretched towards his face, delicate as they traced the scar over the bridge of his nose. Fleeting images of the blaster that seared his skin were soothed by the cool touch of her skin. He remained still, attempting to keep his breaths even as her touch turned to the scar that cut across his jaw and onto his neck. The bitterness he felt had quieted with the stroke of her fingers, soothed with tranquillity.</p><p>"You should be resting," he murmured.</p><p>Her fingers froze, pulling slightly away from his skin. He shifted, turning onto his shoulder to face her and saw shock and embarrassment displayed on her face as she withdrew her hand. He reached out, gently grasping onto her hand and returning her touch to the side of his face.</p><p>"Don't stop on my account."</p><p>She was hesitant but returned to tracing his scars. He watched her captivatedly, entranced by her in the darkness. He could see her vulnerability unfold, the same as when she had called out for him in the medical facility, again when she had first kissed him and, now. It was like there was no ending to how far she could feel, all masked behind a shroud of pain and suffering she had received at the hands of the Empire.</p><p>"How did you get them?" She asked softly.</p><p>He took a small breath as he recalled the memory. "Clone Troopers. They betrayed us, me and my Master... He died saving me."</p><p>There was a heavy pause.</p><p>"I'm sorry," she whispered thickly.</p><p>The words felt heavy in the air and he understood how difficult it must've been for her to say them. It wasn't just a simple condolence. It was an apology for the things she had done for the Empire – for hunting him like those Clone Troopers had.</p><p>Her palm had warmed against his skin, her fingers slipped into his auburn hair following it down to his neck, then they traced his jawline. They moved up his chin, her thumb stopping at the corner of his lips. Her eyes lingered on them, something of a sad smile tugging on her own. She let out a small sigh, meeting his gaze with furrowed brows.</p><p>"She likes you." Cal looked at her, puzzled by her words. "The witch. I can see it from the way she talks about you."</p><p>He was stunned by her words. Merrin? He didn't think – it couldn't be true. They were friends, she had even said so herself. And even more, she had spoken to Trilla?</p><p>He shook his head. "No. She's just a friend."</p><p>She chuckled lightly at his denial. "Don't be so short-sighted Padawan. I know what she feels... Because I recognise it." There was a long pause and her expression turning solemn. "She would be good to you, Cal Kestis. Someone worthy of your devotion."</p><p>His brows furrowed.</p><p>"You aren't?" He asked, bothered by her insinuation.</p><p>"No," she said candidly, as she pulled her hand from his face. "No, I don't think I am."</p><p>Where did all this come from? She didn't seem like the same person who stayed silent when he questioned her. His thoughts led back to her talking to Greez. His mind assessed her words, the solemn expression and her actions. They all seemed to say goodbye.</p><p>"You're leaving," he accused. His tone was half-questioning, only so that she could deny it.</p><p>The guilt that hardened onto her expression confirmed his guess. He pulled back from her, his brows furrowing in thought, unable to understand why she was so adamant on leaving. He looked away from her debating his words and unsuccessfully trying to order his erratic thoughts.</p><p>"Why?" He didn't even try to mask his hurt as he asked.</p><p>She didn't answer, her expression torn with hurt as she looked away.</p><p>Did she think that he would just move on without her? That he somehow deserved someone other than her, when in truth, he wanted no one else more than her. He couldn't find the words, as though there were no words in all the languages that could emphasize what he felt for her.</p><p>He leaned across, capturing her lips with his. It wasn't heated with frustration or desperate longing, instead it was slow and careful. Trying to express his emotions to her, yearning for her to understand his desperate desire to find his place in the galaxy. And for her to understand that he had found it here, with her.</p><p>They moved in unison, her hands traveling up his back as he shifted to lean over her body. Before she could pull away, he did. His fingers softly brushed aside strands of hair from her face before returning to the side of her face.</p><p>"There is no one else in the galaxy I want, but you. You don't think you're <em>worthy</em> of my devotion?" He swallowed back the rush of emotion as he gazed down at her. "Then there is nothing more I would like to do then spend the rest of my life proving to you that you are." Her eyes glistened with tears and he saw her bite her lip to keep them at bay. "Just stay with me."</p><p>"If I stay, he'll find you," she countered. "And kill us all."</p><p>"If you stay, we can get through this together," he offered confidently. "They won't find us."</p><p>She swallowed, fear flooding her expression. Her voice dropping into a deadly whisper, "He won't stop."</p><p>He laced his hands through hers, squeezing it gently. His voice strengthened with resolve. "Neither will we."</p><p>Her features drowned in conflict, her words slow as she spoke. "It won't be easy."</p><p>His heart wavered at her reluctant surrender. "It never is."</p><p>She waited, her eyes flitting between his. "It might take forever to prove me wrong," she said lightly with a smile, attempting to dissuade him.</p><p>He shook his head with a smile. "You can't change my mind Trilla Suduri."</p><p>There was a long moment of deliberation before, "Then I'm not going anywhere, Cal Kestis."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow. It's really over. </p><p>Thank you so much for all you supportive caltrillas out there who have been so sweet and kind. You are all so special and amazing and I hope you all the best in everything!!</p><p>- AP</p>
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